Monthly Archives: July 2007

Less Meat, More Proctology

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Somewhat bad news: The Blue traded Wilson Betemit to New York for RP Scott Proctor, which is exactly what had been rumored for weeks – though nearly every report said the Dodgers had turned down a straight swap as being not enough.

Fantastically good news: Matt Kemp! James Loney! Clayton Kershaw! Andy LaRoche! Chin-Lung Hu! Tony Abreu! All remain Dodger property!

Back to the trade, I consider this ‘somewhat’ bad news because, well, Scott Proctor might not be very good, while I have advocated in this space before that Wilson Betemit is severely underrated. So since I don’t feel the need to re-state why Betemit should have gotten another chance, let’s look at Proctor – who I am pre-emptively dubbing “The Proctologist”.

Drafted originally by the Dodgers and made it as far as AAA Las Vegas (does that mean we can call him another “home-grown” player? Probably not. But I might anyway) before being shipped off to New York four years ago with Bubba Crosby for Robin Ventura. He made the bigs in 2004 and holy jebus was he bad his first two seasons: ERA’s of 5.40 and 6.04. How exactly did he keep getting chances? Somehow, last year he became one of the better relievers in the AL, putting up a 3.52 ERA and a 1.19 WHIP, all while being abused by Joe Torre to the tune of 89 appearances and 102.1 IP. He’s regressed a little, with his WHIP up to 1.51, though again – Joe Torre treats him like Ike treated Tina. So the hope has to be, leaving the AL East and Torre’s twisted manipulations can only help him.

I suppose if the bottom line is, “did this trade help the team”, then I would have to say yes. Unless Proctor’s a total disaster, he improves the pen, inasmuch as he fulfills the qualities of “Not being Houlton or Hull” and much as I liked Meat, LaRoche is a better prospect at 3B. Just a little disappointed that this was all that could be gotten for Meat, is all.

So what’s the upshot here? Proctor goes into the pen and becomes, I would assume, part of the setup mix with Joe Beimel. That’d leave the club with one too many pitchers, though, so someone’s got to go. And if there’s any justice in this world, it’s going to be the corpse of Roberto Hernandez, though it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if it’s Eric Hull instead. Delwyn Young has been called up to fill Betemit’s spot for the moment, until Proctor arrives, but I’d be surprised if he sticks, since LA already has enough problems finding outfield playing time.

No, I’ll tell you what needs to happen.

Andy LaRoche needs to come back to LA. And he needs to be given a shot to steal Nomar’s job. Because he is killing the ball in Vegas. A .599 SLG + .400 OBP for an .999 OPS? Er. Yes please.

The Bums Will Never Win

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Nothing is f*%ked? Nothing is f*%ked?!?! The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain!!

And there you have the first two of hopefully countless Big Lebowski references on this blog.
Hey, remember those heady times of 11 days ago? The Blue had just finished taking two out of three from Philadelphia to get to 13 games over .500, the high-water mark for the season thus far. All-Star Brad Penny had moved to 11-1. The bats were coming alive, putting up 40 runs in winning 5 of the 6 games since the break. The rotation looked like it might just need tweaking, with Penny & Lowe being fantastic, Billingsley showing promise, and Wolf seeming to be just around the corner from returning. The bullpen was humming along like clockwork. Hell, even Juan Pierre was playing well! Seemed that all the Dodgers would need to do was to add a decent reliever before the deadline and hold on to those prospects as tight as possible.
Uh, yeah. About that.
Just a week and a half later, you might say things have changed. Since July 19 vs. the Mets (when Lowe gave up 10 runs in 3 innings), LA has gone 3-7 in losing series vs. the Mets, @ Houston, and @ Colorado. Penny and Lowe hurt themselves in consecutive games. Takashi Saito missed 8 games with a sore neck and shouder. Meanwhile, Arizona came out of nowhere to win 8 of 11 in the same period to pull into a tie for first. With San Diego only one-half game out and even Colorado within three and a half, this is officially a four-horse race. With the trade deadline looming, conditions are ripe for management to press the panic button and trade some of the kids for a pile of magic beans. And by ‘magic beans’, I of course mean ‘broken-down, overrated, overpaid veterans.’
What the hell is going on here? Let’s focus on the rotation. The latest update from Dylan Hernandez of the LA Times says that Lowe has “irritation in the joint of his left hip.” Meanwhile, Penny has “had a strain in the lower right part of his abdominal muscle for his last couple of starts. The Dodgers’ initial diagnosis of a cramp was made by Penny himself.” As for Wolf, Tony Jackson of the Daily News reports “Still no date set for Randy Wolf’s next rehab outing because he still has stiffness in his shoulder. Grady admitted that it can be termed a setback. No telling when this guy is going to be back.”
So the current rotation has five flawed pitchers:
-Two veterans who’ve been great but who may not be able to answer the bell (Lowe, Penny);
-One talented but maddeningly inconsistent youngster who can somehow sandwich a complete-game five hit gem directly between two starts in which he used 110+ pitches to not get past 5 innings (Billingsley);
-Two mediocre veterans who suffer from the severe afflictions of being Mark Hendrickson and Brett Tomko (Hendrickson, Tomko).
If either Lowe or Penny are forced to be DL’d – hell, even if they’re not – where are the reinforcements supposed to come from? Wolf clearly cannot be counted upon. Eric Stults was nice the other day, but he’s hardly a high-quality item. Outside the organization? Hah! Not only are there barely any starters available, they’re no upgrade on what’s here and they’ll cost a fortune in terms of young prospects. Seriously, who’s out there? Jason Jennings? He sure helped his case by throwing out what may be one of the worst starts in MLB history today (0.2 IP, 11 ER on 8 hits and 3 BB). Livian Hernandez? Gave up 8 runs in 4 IP today, not that the D-backs would send a starter to a division rival.
Looks like we’re stuck with what we see today. At least, I hope. If I wake up and see that Kemp and Loney are on their way to Chicago for Jose Contreras, then this blog might be short-lived – I hear they don’t give you much internet access in maximum security prisons.

The Bums Will Never Win

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Nothing is f*%ked? Nothing is f*%ked?!?! The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain!!

And there you have the first two of hopefully countless Big Lebowski references on this blog.

Hey, remember those heady times of 11 days ago? The Blue had just finished taking two out of three from Philadelphia to get to 13 games over .500, the high-water mark for the season thus far. All-Star Brad Penny had moved to 11-1. The bats were coming alive, putting up 40 runs in winning 5 of the 6 games since the break. The rotation looked like it might just need tweaking, with Penny & Lowe being fantastic, Billingsley showing promise, and Wolf seeming to be just around the corner from returning. The bullpen was humming along like clockwork. Hell, even Juan Pierre was playing well! Seemed that all the Dodgers would need to do was to add a decent reliever before the deadline and hold on to those prospects as tight as possible.

Uh, yeah. About that.

Just a week and a half later, you might say things have changed. Since July 19 vs. the Mets (when Lowe gave up 10 runs in 3 innings), LA has gone 3-7 in losing series vs. the Mets, @ Houston, and @ Colorado. Penny and Lowe hurt themselves in consecutive games. Takashi Saito missed 8 games with a sore neck and shouder. Meanwhile, Arizona came out of nowhere to win 8 of 11 in the same period to pull into a tie for first. With San Diego only one-half game out and even Colorado within three and a half, this is officially a four-horse race. With the trade deadline looming, conditions are ripe for management to press the panic button and trade some of the kids for a pile of magic beans. And by ‘magic beans’, I of course mean ‘broken-down, overrated, overpaid veterans.’

What the hell is going on here? Let’s focus on the rotation. The latest update from Dylan Hernandez of the LA Times says that Lowe has “irritation in the joint of his left hip.” Meanwhile, Penny has “had a strain in the lower right part of his abdominal muscle for his last couple of starts. The Dodgers’ initial diagnosis of a cramp was made by Penny himself.” As for Wolf, Tony Jackson of the Daily News reports “Still no date set for Randy Wolf’s next rehab outing because he still has stiffness in his shoulder. Grady admitted that it can be termed a setback. No telling when this guy is going to be back.”

So the current rotation has five flawed pitchers:

-Two veterans who’ve been great but who may not be able to answer the bell (Lowe, Penny);
-One talented but maddeningly inconsistent youngster who can somehow sandwich a complete-game five hit gem directly between two starts in which he used 110+ pitches to not get past 5 innings (Billingsley);
-Two mediocre veterans who suffer from the severe afflictions of being Mark Hendrickson and Brett Tomko (Hendrickson, Tomko).

If either Lowe or Penny are forced to be DL’d – hell, even if they’re not – where are the reinforcements supposed to come from? Wolf clearly cannot be counted upon. Eric Stults was nice the other day, but he’s hardly a high-quality item. Outside the organization? Hah! Not only are there barely any starters available, they’re no upgrade on what’s here and they’ll cost a fortune in terms of young prospects. Seriously, who’s out there? Jason Jennings? He sure helped his case by throwing out what may be one of the worst starts in MLB history today (0.2 IP, 11 ER on 8 hits and 3 BB). Livian Hernandez? Gave up 8 runs in 4 IP today, not that the D-backs would send a starter to a division rival.

Looks like we’re stuck with what we see today. At least, I hope. If I wake up and see that Kemp and Loney are on their way to Chicago for Jose Contreras, then this blog might be short-lived – I hear they don’t give you much internet access in maximum security prisons.

I Was Saying, "Boooooo-onds"

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Gather ’round, friends. Sometimes the cosmic forces align in ways you never thought possible. Sometimes you get two utterly perfect situations, that joined together, create the perfect storm of irony. (Not like when it rains on your wedding day. That’s just bad f*%#ing luck.)

Via good friend of the site and pride of Ripley, TN, CeyHeyJay, we recieve the following gem from the LA Times:

Barry Bonds’ breaking or tying of Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record could fall on the same day that the Dodgers host a steroid awareness clinic.

I thank the Good Lord for this gift which has been bestowed upon us. This is like Michael Vick staging a pitbull fight only to find the Westminster Dog Show is next door. The possibilities here are endless.

This couldn’t be more perfect if I’d planned it myself.

Speaking of which, did the Dodgers plan this themselves?

The clinic was originally scheduled for June 29, when the Dodgers played the San Diego Padres. But the Taylor Hooton Foundation, which is running the clinic with the Dodgers, had to postpone the event. The late Taylor Hooton, a high school player whose 2003 suicide was tied to steroid use, is the cousin of former Dodgers pitcher Burt Hooton.

“This has nothing to do with who we’re playing,” Dodgers spokesman Josh Rawitch said. “It’s the date that was the best fit for us and the Hooton Foundation.” Dodgers outfielder Juan Pierre, hitting coach Bill Mueller and former outfielder Lou Johnson will participate in the clinic.

Sure, Josh. Total coincidence. I’m completely on board with that. Whatever you need to say to make this happen. Personally, I would have gone with “it’s a steroids awareness clinic. What better way to make kids aware of steroids than to watch someone who’s 94% steroids?”

On a somewhat related topic, Juan Pierre is the best they could get for an anti-steroids gathering? What’s he going to say? “Hey kids – don’t use steroids. I’ve never used steroids, and thanks to that I’ve been able bulk up all the way to 180 pounds and hit 12 home runs in over 4540 at bats! Oh – and don’t watch the game tonight, where the guy who did use steroids is going to break one of sports’ all time hallowed records. No. Don’t look there.”

Hmm. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.

First Base Just Got A Little Sexier

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When you look at the Dodgers’ first base contingent, who warms your heart? There’s the young hotshot, smooth-swinging, great-fielding James Loney. There’s 2006 All-Star, former Boston idol, one-half of a SoCal power couple with soccer star Mia Hamm, Nomar Garciaparra. In recent years – though not so much this year – there’s even been appearances by future Hall of Famer Jeff Kent and his ridiculous 1980s porn ‘stache.But for the first time since June 1 in Pittsburgh, you won’t be seeing any of them manning the bag tonight.

With the Rockies using left-hander Jeff Francis on Saturday, Little said he would give Olmedo Saenz a start at first base.  

That’s right – it’s Big Sexy time. (Quick background on this nickname: a few years ago, he was on the DL with some pulled fat, and when he came off, a reporter asked him how he was feeling. He replied, “I feel good. I feel.. sexy.”)You can have your young Loneys; broken-down Nomars; out-of-position Kents. Me? I’ll enjoy watching 230 pounds of Panamanian terror in Coors Field against unfortunate Rockies lefty Jeff Francis tonight. Because even though Big Sexy has slowed down a bit this year (only a .704 OPS), he’s been deadly against lefties the last few years.Between 2004-06, the longest tenured Dodger (I know!) put up this line against southpaws:BA: .315OBP: .393SLG: .618OPS: 1.011HR: 19RBI: 61 And when you look at those HR/RBI #s, remember that this came in only 238 at-bats. If he could play against lefties every day, he’d be an all-time great. It does look like he might be nearing the end of the line in Blue, with his bat slowing and Loney clamping down on the position; so I’ll watch tonight, hope he can still beat up on Francis, and say, “Here’s to you, Big Sexy. Here’s to you.”Oh, and that picture at the right? It’s from 2003 when he was still in Oakland, but I couldn’t help myself – is he diving into the bag, or was he launched like a cruise missle? I’m pretty sure that when he hit the ground there, the residents of the Bay Area looked at their walls shaking and said, “ugh. not again.”