Less Meat, More Proctology

July 31, 2007 at 5:02 pm | In Scott Proctor, Wilson Betemit, roster moves | 2 Comments

Somewhat bad news: The Blue traded Wilson Betemit to New York for RP Scott Proctor, which is exactly what had been rumored for weeks - though nearly every report said the Dodgers had turned down a straight swap as being not enough.

Fantastically good news: Matt Kemp! James Loney! Clayton Kershaw! Andy LaRoche! Chin-Lung Hu! Tony Abreu! All remain Dodger property!

Back to the trade, I consider this ’somewhat’ bad news because, well, Scott Proctor might not be very good, while I have advocated in this space before that Wilson Betemit is severely underrated. So since I don’t feel the need to re-state why Betemit should have gotten another chance, let’s look at Proctor - who I am pre-emptively dubbing “The Proctologist”.

Drafted originally by the Dodgers and made it as far as AAA Las Vegas (does that mean we can call him another “home-grown” player? Probably not. But I might anyway) before being shipped off to New York four years ago with Bubba Crosby for Robin Ventura. He made the bigs in 2004 and holy jebus was he bad his first two seasons: ERA’s of 5.40 and 6.04. How exactly did he keep getting chances? Somehow, last year he became one of the better relievers in the AL, putting up a 3.52 ERA and a 1.19 WHIP, all while being abused by Joe Torre to the tune of 89 appearances and 102.1 IP. He’s regressed a little, with his WHIP up to 1.51, though again - Joe Torre treats him like Ike treated Tina. So the hope has to be, leaving the AL East and Torre’s twisted manipulations can only help him.

I suppose if the bottom line is, “did this trade help the team”, then I would have to say yes. Unless Proctor’s a total disaster, he improves the pen, inasmuch as he fulfills the qualities of “Not being Houlton or Hull” and much as I liked Meat, LaRoche is a better prospect at 3B. Just a little disappointed that this was all that could be gotten for Meat, is all.

So what’s the upshot here? Proctor goes into the pen and becomes, I would assume, part of the setup mix with Joe Beimel. That’d leave the club with one too many pitchers, though, so someone’s got to go. And if there’s any justice in this world, it’s going to be the corpse of Roberto Hernandez, though it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if it’s Eric Hull instead. Delwyn Young has been called up to fill Betemit’s spot for the moment, until Proctor arrives, but I’d be surprised if he sticks, since LA already has enough problems finding outfield playing time.

No, I’ll tell you what needs to happen.

Andy LaRoche needs to come back to LA. And he needs to be given a shot to steal Nomar’s job. Because he is killing the ball in Vegas. A .599 SLG + .400 OBP for an .999 OPS? Er. Yes please.

The Bums Will Never Win

July 29, 2007 at 7:34 pm | In uh-oh | 2 Comments

Nothing is f*%ked? Nothing is f*%ked?!?! The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain!!

And there you have the first two of hopefully countless Big Lebowski references on this blog.

Hey, remember those heady times of 11 days ago? The Blue had just finished taking two out of three from Philadelphia to get to 13 games over .500, the high-water mark for the season thus far. All-Star Brad Penny had moved to 11-1. The bats were coming alive, putting up 40 runs in winning 5 of the 6 games since the break. The rotation looked like it might just need tweaking, with Penny & Lowe being fantastic, Billingsley showing promise, and Wolf seeming to be just around the corner from returning. The bullpen was humming along like clockwork. Hell, even Juan Pierre was playing well! Seemed that all the Dodgers would need to do was to add a decent reliever before the deadline and hold on to those prospects as tight as possible.

Uh, yeah. About that.

Just a week and a half later, you might say things have changed. Since July 19 vs. the Mets (when Lowe gave up 10 runs in 3 innings), LA has gone 3-7 in losing series vs. the Mets, @ Houston, and @ Colorado. Penny and Lowe hurt themselves in consecutive games. Takashi Saito missed 8 games with a sore neck and shouder. Meanwhile, Arizona came out of nowhere to win 8 of 11 in the same period to pull into a tie for first. With San Diego only one-half game out and even Colorado within three and a half, this is officially a four-horse race. With the trade deadline looming, conditions are ripe for management to press the panic button and trade some of the kids for a pile of magic beans. And by ‘magic beans’, I of course mean ‘broken-down, overrated, overpaid veterans.’

What the hell is going on here? Let’s focus on the rotation. The latest update from Dylan Hernandez of the LA Times says that Lowe has “irritation in the joint of his left hip.” Meanwhile, Penny has “had a strain in the lower right part of his abdominal muscle for his last couple of starts. The Dodgers’ initial diagnosis of a cramp was made by Penny himself.” As for Wolf, Tony Jackson of the Daily News reports “Still no date set for Randy Wolf’s next rehab outing because he still has stiffness in his shoulder. Grady admitted that it can be termed a setback. No telling when this guy is going to be back.”

So the current rotation has five flawed pitchers:

-Two veterans who’ve been great but who may not be able to answer the bell (Lowe, Penny);
-One talented but maddeningly inconsistent youngster who can somehow sandwich a complete-game five hit gem directly between two starts in which he used 110+ pitches to not get past 5 innings (Billingsley);
-Two mediocre veterans who suffer from the severe afflictions of being Mark Hendrickson and Brett Tomko (Hendrickson, Tomko).

If either Lowe or Penny are forced to be DL’d - hell, even if they’re not - where are the reinforcements supposed to come from? Wolf clearly cannot be counted upon. Eric Stults was nice the other day, but he’s hardly a high-quality item. Outside the organization? Hah! Not only are there barely any starters available, they’re no upgrade on what’s here and they’ll cost a fortune in terms of young prospects. Seriously, who’s out there? Jason Jennings? He sure helped his case by throwing out what may be one of the worst starts in MLB history today (0.2 IP, 11 ER on 8 hits and 3 BB). Livian Hernandez? Gave up 8 runs in 4 IP today, not that the D-backs would send a starter to a division rival.

Looks like we’re stuck with what we see today. At least, I hope. If I wake up and see that Kemp and Loney are on their way to Chicago for Jose Contreras, then this blog might be short-lived - I hear they don’t give you much internet access in maximum security prisons.

I Was Saying, "Boooooo-onds"

July 28, 2007 at 5:35 pm | In Barry Bonds, cheating steroid-fueled jerkwad | No Comments

Gather ’round, friends. Sometimes the cosmic forces align in ways you never thought possible. Sometimes you get two utterly perfect situations, that joined together, create the perfect storm of irony. (Not like when it rains on your wedding day. That’s just bad f*%#ing luck.)

Via good friend of the site and pride of Ripley, TN, CeyHeyJay, we recieve the following gem from the LA Times:

Barry Bonds’ breaking or tying of Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record could fall on the same day that the Dodgers host a steroid awareness clinic.

I thank the Good Lord for this gift which has been bestowed upon us. This is like Michael Vick staging a pitbull fight only to find the Westminster Dog Show is next door. The possibilities here are endless.

This couldn’t be more perfect if I’d planned it myself.

Speaking of which, did the Dodgers plan this themselves?

The clinic was originally scheduled for June 29, when the Dodgers played the San Diego Padres. But the Taylor Hooton Foundation, which is running the clinic with the Dodgers, had to postpone the event. The late Taylor Hooton, a high school player whose 2003 suicide was tied to steroid use, is the cousin of former Dodgers pitcher Burt Hooton.

“This has nothing to do with who we’re playing,” Dodgers spokesman Josh Rawitch said. “It’s the date that was the best fit for us and the Hooton Foundation.” Dodgers outfielder Juan Pierre, hitting coach Bill Mueller and former outfielder Lou Johnson will participate in the clinic.

Sure, Josh. Total coincidence. I’m completely on board with that. Whatever you need to say to make this happen. Personally, I would have gone with “it’s a steroids awareness clinic. What better way to make kids aware of steroids than to watch someone who’s 94% steroids?”

On a somewhat related topic, Juan Pierre is the best they could get for an anti-steroids gathering? What’s he going to say? “Hey kids - don’t use steroids. I’ve never used steroids, and thanks to that I’ve been able bulk up all the way to 180 pounds and hit 12 home runs in over 4540 at bats! Oh - and don’t watch the game tonight, where the guy who did use steroids is going to break one of sports’ all time hallowed records. No. Don’t look there.”

Hmm. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.

First Base Just Got A Little Sexier

July 28, 2007 at 3:35 am | In Olmedo Saenz | 4 Comments

When you look at the Dodgers’ first base contingent, who warms your heart? There’s the young hotshot, smooth-swinging, great-fielding James Loney. There’s 2006 All-Star, former Boston idol, one-half of a SoCal power couple with soccer star Mia Hamm, Nomar Garciaparra. In recent years - though not so much this year - there’s even been appearances by future Hall of Famer Jeff Kent and his ridiculous 1980s porn ’stache.But for the first time since June 1 in Pittsburgh, you won’t be seeing any of them manning the bag tonight.

With the Rockies using left-hander Jeff Francis on Saturday, Little said he would give Olmedo Saenz a start at first base.  

That’s right - it’s Big Sexy time. (Quick background on this nickname: a few years ago, he was on the DL with some pulled fat, and when he came off, a reporter asked him how he was feeling. He replied, “I feel good. I feel.. sexy.”)You can have your young Loneys; broken-down Nomars; out-of-position Kents. Me? I’ll enjoy watching 230 pounds of Panamanian terror in Coors Field against unfortunate Rockies lefty Jeff Francis tonight. Because even though Big Sexy has slowed down a bit this year (only a .704 OPS), he’s been deadly against lefties the last few years.Between 2004-06, the longest tenured Dodger (I know!) put up this line against southpaws:BA: .315OBP: .393SLG: .618OPS: 1.011HR: 19RBI: 61 And when you look at those HR/RBI #s, remember that this came in only 238 at-bats. If he could play against lefties every day, he’d be an all-time great. It does look like he might be nearing the end of the line in Blue, with his bat slowing and Loney clamping down on the position; so I’ll watch tonight, hope he can still beat up on Francis, and say, “Here’s to you, Big Sexy. Here’s to you.”Oh, and that picture at the right? It’s from 2003 when he was still in Oakland, but I couldn’t help myself - is he diving into the bag, or was he launched like a cruise missle? I’m pretty sure that when he hit the ground there, the residents of the Bay Area looked at their walls shaking and said, “ugh. not again.”

I, For One, Support Our New Young Pitching Overlords

July 27, 2007 at 10:37 am | In Chad Billingsley, the balls | 1 Comment

In case you missed it on Monday night in Houston, Chad Billingsley was - to put it quite simply - the balls. The numbers speak for themselves; in his first career complete game, he gave up only 5 hits and 2 runs, while striking out 6. He had a shutout going until 2 outs in the 9th, when he gave up a meaningless home run. Perhaps even more impressive was his timing - the Dodger bullpen has been wildly overworked lately, so for Billingsley to give them an entire night off was huge.

But this is about more than one night in July. The question that stands before us is, just how good can this kid be? His 23rd birthday isn’t even until next week, and he’s already shown us some huge flashes of his talent.

Actually, let’s not gloss over this point. He’s 23 next week and he’s already having success at the major league level. Is there a commodity in baseball more valuable than quality, cheap young pitching right now? It’s like realizing you have an oil well about to burst in your backyard, and you drill it only to find that it’s coated in diamonds and hookers.

*Bzzzt*

We now take you live to San Francisco for live coverage of Barry Bonds’ pursuit of the home run record! Barry grounds weakly to second, but we’ll be back with 24/7 coverage of every meaningless move he makes!

Ugh, sorry about that. Here on the East Coast, that’s what I’ve been getting every time I sit down to watch a game. Why don’t they ever cover his puppy-eating and satanic rituals?

Meanwhile, back to Billingsley. LA’s first round pick in 2003 who made his debut at age 19 in rookie league that year, he dominated all throughout the minors. In 78 games, he had an ERA of 3.18, with an excellent 10.22 K’s per nine innings. In 2006, he started out in AAA Las Vegas (in the notoriously hitter-friendly PCL), and at the ripe old age of 21, did pretty well for himself: 6-3, 3.95 ERA, more than a K per inning. Called up to the Dodgers, he again impressed: a 7-4 record in 16 starts, with a 3.80 ERA and a 121 ERA+. That’s not to say he didn’t have his struggles; in 90.0 IP, he K’d only 59 while walking 58. Clearly, pitch counts were his mortal enemy, but for a 21 year old rookie, his debut was definitely a success. He even chipped in with 2 scoreless relief innings (1 hit, 3 K’s) against the Mets in the NLDS.

Despite that, he started 2007 in the pen for the big club, ostensibly to learn to focus and keep his pitch counts down, though more likely in order to say to Brett Tomko that they at least gave him a chance to start before he imploded. Billingsley quickly became a valuable part of a dominating pen, teaming with Joe Beimel to own the 6th and 7th leading into Broxton/Saito to finish it all out.

By June, he was moved into the rotation, and though he’s occasionally still had pitch-count issues (113 pitches in 5 innings vs. the Phillies say, “what’s up?”) he’s improved in nearly every area from 2006. ERA down from 3.80 to 3.38. A nearly 1-1 K/BB ratio to better than 2/1. WHIP down from 1.67 to 1.23. So, uh, yeah - I’d say he’s looking every bit the real deal.

How valuable has he been to the Dodgers? Well, put it this way. After not even making the rotation initially, for a few frightening hours last night (when Penny was doubled over in pain and Lowe’s MRI results weren’t back yet), Billingsley was the ace of this team. And hey - if he can gain some consistency and perform anything like he did on Monday night in Houston? He will be the ace of this team, and soon. Because in case I didn’t mention it, he’s a talented young pitcher not even 23 yet.

Brad Penny Just Hurt Himself

July 26, 2007 at 7:11 pm | In Brad Penny, uh-oh | No Comments

Breaking news: Moments ago, Brad Penny just doubled over in pain after trying to run out an infield grounder and had to leave the game. This, of course, comes just one day after Derek Lowe aggravated a groin muscle running out an infield grounder.

As of yet, there’s no updates on either pitcher (Penny, of course, just went down 5 minutes ago). But without jumping to conclusions, it certainly doesn’t look impossible that both of them could miss a start. With Schmidt and Kuo out for the year, and Wolf still on the DL, that would make the rotation:

Billingsley
Tomko
Lurch
uh.. Stults?
and.. Houlton?

At right: the Dodgers season.

Jim Armstrong Is A Freaking Idiot

July 26, 2007 at 12:28 am | In Uncategorized | No Comments

Is his AOL Sports column this week, columnist Jim Armstrong heaps praise over Grady Little and how it is because of him, his shrewdness and his ability to take “has beens, never-weres and might-bes” why the Dodgers are sitting on top of the NL West. Let’s take a look…

“They don’t have a legit middle-of-the-order hitter, their closer has a bum shoulder and their would-be No. 1 starter is gone for the season with one lonely W to his credit.”

All true. Although Saito’s shoulder problems didn’t surface until a week ago, and his MRI results were negative and showed no structural damage. He’ll probably be back within the next couple of days. Did it help us? No, and it was certainly a big worry when it happened, but Saito has already reported a significant improvement.

“So how are they doing it?”

By Brad Penny pitching a Cy Young caliber season (he has the highest VORP in the NL at 45.2 and second only in baseball to Dan Haren), by having Derek Lowe pitch well, by having an All-Star catcher who is the best catcher offensively and defensively in the NL (Martin), having arguably the best closer in the game (Creaky Shoulder Saito), along with one of the better setup men in the game (Jonathan Broxton), having Matt Kemp and James Loney put up EqA’s of .329 and .324 since they’ve been called up, a solid Luis Gonzalez, the gradual emergence of Chad Billingsley, etc., etc.

“Smog and mirrors are the first things that come to mind, but it’s more than that. I’m thinking, as much as it must pain Red Sox Nation to hear it, Grady Little deserves much of the credit.”

Oh God. Now here it comes… Grady, Red Sox… please, Jim, please don’t bring it up again. I’m begging you, please… PLEASE!! NO!!

“You remember our man Grady. He left Pedro Martinez in a playoff game for one too many pitches and suddenly became the village idiot in Boston, going down in Sawx lore with the likes of Bill Buckers, Bucky ‘‘Freakin’ ’’ Dent and Harry Frazee, the owner who sold Babe Ruth to the Evil Empire for a lousy $125,000, a.k.a. table-dance money for Alex Rodriguez.”


“Turns out Little wasn’t so strategically-challenged after all. But then, we rational people — as opposed to Sox fans — already knew that.”

Yeah, stick it to those Red Sox fans, Jim… obviously those fans and the Red Sox front office are still trying to pick up the pieces since they fired Grady Little after the 2003 ALCS. In fact, there are swirling rumors flying around Boston that Theo Epstein still has trouble living with that move. In fact, it’s now time for another episode of…

MSTI Presents: A Night At Theo’s

(wailing saxophone begins in the backround)

Narrator: It was a Friday night. The weather was cold and damp and the Red Sox just came home to Fenway Park to begin a 10 game homestand, starting with the Yankees. After losing the first game 9-2, Theo went back into his condo to relax and unwind. After walking in, he then slowly walks into his bedroom, locks the door, turns off the lights and brings a Smiths album with him. He then puts on the song “I Know It’s Over,” then he climbs on to his bed and gently grabs the framed Grady Little photo that he keeps under his pillow. Finally, like he has on so many other nights, his emotions let loose…

Theo: “WHHHHHHHYYYYY??!! Why did I ever fire you, Gumppy?! Our team has been floundering ever since… I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean it… John and Larry made me do it! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! The truth is… I CAN’T QUIT YOU!! Grady… I…”

Narrator: Unfortunately, Theo stops midway in his sentence, as the photo drops, because his hand can no longer handle the extra weight that his shiny 2004 World Series ring already carries.

“Little’s .567 career winning percentage is among the highest in baseball history, considerably better than Joe Torre’s .537.”

Oh. My. God.

Excuse me, I have to make a telephone call…

(calls Joe Torre)

Joe: Hello?

Me: Hey, Joe, how are ya?

Joe: Hey! Oh, pretty good. thanks, My Yankees are playing better, so George finally untied me. What’s up?

Me: I just wanted to call you and say that compared to Grady Little, you SUCK as a manager!

Joe: Grady Little… ah, good memories… just to check, you mean the guy who left Pedr…

Me: (interrupts) YES!! Him.

Joe: Wait… that guy’s better than me?!

Me: Yes, substantially.

Joe: But I have four rings!

Me: Rings don’t matter, silly, you have a lower winning percentage!

Joe: But every year I’ve managed the Yankees, I’ve reached the playoffs!

Me: You still have a lower winning percentage.

Joe: But, look, I managed some really bad Mets teams back in the 1980’s, and the Cardinals weren’t all that good either.

Me: So you ain’t all the way good and have treated and managed the other teams differently.

Joe: Huh? But… but… what about…

Me: Look, Joe, I don’t care if you’ve managed about a gazillion more years to Grady’s three and a half. It doesn’t matter if you had crap teams with the Mets, and not so good teams with the Cardinals which lowered that total… Grady Little has a better winning percentage and therefore is a better manager. You suck, Joe! Grady is better. Jim Armstrong of AOL Sports says so and he’s a rational person!

Before I dig up the corpse of Walter Alston, so I could yell at him and say how much he sucked too, as his winning percentage was inferior to Little’s, I first have to make another call later to Vern Benson. You’ve never heard of him? Well, shame on you, readers, because he’s only the greatest manager to ever live. He has a 1.000 winning percentage. Does it matter that he only managed 1 game in 1977? No, his winning percentage speaks for itself. Stengel, McGraw, Mack, Sparky… you all WISH you were as good as Vernie!

“If you’ve seen the Dodgers, you already know who the National League manager of the year is. Hint: It isn’t Milwaukee’s Ned Yost, who has an MVP candidate (Prince Fielder) and rookie of the year hopeful (Ryan Braun) in the middle of his batting order.”

Hint: Grady Little has arguably the leading Cy Young candidate (Brad Penny), a potential MVP candidate (Russell Martin), and probably the best closer in the NL (Saito).

Another hint: it IS Ned Yost who deserves Manager Of The Year. The Brewers have sucked for like 150 years and have completely turned it around to lead the NL Central for pretty much the entire season.

“How puny is their attack? Consider this: The Performer Formerly Known as Nomar Garciaparra spent the first half of the season hitting cleanup. He had two home runs in 300-plus at-bats before being dropped in the order.”

Even better, consider this: Nomar hasn’t batted clean up ALL YEAR!! In fact, in his entire Dodger career, he’s only had nine at-bats in that spot, all in 2006. He has hit third for most of this year - 269 at-bats, which is not 300+ - then was flipped in the order with Russell Martin and dropped to the six spot.

“Truth is, the Dodgers don’t own a cleanup hitter, just a bunch of guys being paid like one. And, while we’re on the subject, they don’t have a No. 3 hitter, either. At the moment, Russell Martin is hitting third, with Jeff Kent behind him. A catcher and second baseman in the middle of the order. Only in America, and only at Dodger Stadium.”

They don’t have a #3 hitter? Martin has been the team’s best hitter for most of the year, leads the team in VORP with 33.6, has a WARP3 of 9.1, has an EqA of .294 and - even though I hate using this statistic, but it might be something Armstrong understands - leads the team with 66 RBI’s, after hitting sixth in the order for most of the year.

Oh yeah, and that second baseman hitting in the middle of the order? He’s only the guy who has MORE HOME RUNS THAN EVERY SECOND BASEMAN IN HISTORY, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!! O.K., true, that isn’t relevant to 2007. So, what HAS he done in 2007? He has an EqA of .295, 14 HR’s, 125 OPS+, a VORP of 25, and is having an insane July. Is he what he used to be? No. Can he still hit? Hell yeah.

In fact, make that 15 HR’s, as he obliterates one off one of the steel poles at Minute Maid Park, as I type this.

“Kent is the only Dodgers hitter on pace for 20 home runs, and Martin, the best catcher you’ve barely heard of, is their only candidate to reach 100 RBIs.”

But wait a minute… I thought their offensive attack was so puny, that was why they had to put the then-two HR Nomar into the clean up spot where he never hit at? And I thought it was crazy to put a catcher and second baseman in the middle of the order?! So wait… first Little isn’t strategically-challenged, then it was him who left Nomar in a spot in which he never batted in for 300 at-bats, then he’s the Manager Of The Year, then it was “only at Dodger Stadium” where a catcher and second baseman would be in the middle of the order… now it’s a good move because one is on pace for 20 HR’s and the other for 100 RBI’s… but yet I thought they had no options outside of Nomar because their attack is so puny? Which is it, Jimmy?!

“Which reminds me. Instead of firing hitting coach Eddie Murray, maybe they should have stuck him in the five hole.”

Ha ha. Except that wouldn’t work, you dipshit, because they’ve had a very solid and productive Luis Gonzalez hitting there. Instead of wasting my time reiterating the obvious, see the “Real Men Of Genius Presents: Luis Gonzalez” article below.

“There are only two logical explanations for why the Dodgers are winning the West.”

Great pitching - at least for the first two and a half months - and once that started going south, they have had a great offensive surge that took off around the time Bill Mueller was hired as hitting coach. In fact, this “puny attack” has improved so much that they now rank 2nd in the NL (6th in MLB) in OBP at .345. Also, since the All-Star break, they have jumped from 19th to 13th in runs across all of MLB and have had one of the best offenses in baseball post-All Star break. An offensive force? No. Hitting A LOT better? Yeah.

But who am I to say this? I’m sure Armstrong provides the REAL reasons to the Dodgers’ success…

“First, their manager has done a great job of making up his lineup card as he goes along.”

You see, that explains their success right there. You hear that, Martin, Kent, Loney, Ethier, Gonzo and Kemp? You’re not doing well because you’ve hit the crap out of the ball… no, it’s lineup placement! And you hear that, Kansas City? You don’t suck because most of your hitters are worthless… it’s because your manager can’t put up a great lineup!

Ironically, one of Grady’s biggest weaknesses has been his inability to put out a competent lineup. He left Nomar, who just barely passed Juan Pierre in slugging percentage, in the three - not four - spot for the first two and a half months. He has left Pierre, a man with a .314 OBP, in the two spot for most of the year, although, to Pierre’s credit, he has been performing much better in the second half. Not to mention that two of the team’s hottest hitters, James Loney and Matt Kemp - another possible source of much-needed power - continue to hit 7th and 8th (after the inferior Nomar), as does Andre Ethier when he starts. Wilson Betemit, one of four players on the team with more than 10 HR’s - and in a third of the at-bats - also rots on the bench.

Now due to baseball politics and salaries, a lot of this isn’t necessarily Little’s fault, but still… great lineups my ass.

I’m FAR from a Little fan, but can it be said that some of his moves have worked this season? Sure… but is he the main reason behind why Brad Penny is pitching like a madman? Or why the offense has been on fire for the past month? Probably not.

Armstrong then goes on to mention the pitching and how Cy Young candidate Brad Penny has stepped up with the loss of Schmidt. O.K., fair point, but wait a minute… did he just say…

“Cy Young candidate Brad Penny”

Oh no, he did say it… CY YOUNG candidate? I thought a Manager Of The Year winner can’t have one?

“Normally, a team would fold the tent when its top starter goes down for the year. Not the Dodgers. Enter Chad Billingsley, who has stepped into the fray and reeled off seven straight decisions.”

And OH MY GOD… young kids have been part of the success too? That’s it, someone better take Grady Little’s name out of consideration for Manager Of The Year. Don’t you know that, according to Armstrong’s logic, you can’t have any MVP candidates, rookie sensations and probably not any Cy Young candidates to be Manager Of The Year? No, you know why? Because a REAL manager doesn’t win that way. No… a real manager has no use for player’s contending for awards, nor do they need that overrated elite talent. Dang nab it, dontcha know that a real manager can take a bunch of AA players and pep talk them, build their confidence, give them that sheer grit and propel them to achieve greatness? THAT’S what makes Manager Of The Year candidates.

On a kinda unrelated but still kinda related sidenote: don’t you just hate how in order for someone to be a great manager/coach, some people judge them based on how they would do in the most God-awful circumstances or how they’d do if their actual talent was taken away? Although a different sport, it’s the same crap people give Phil Jackson, because he had Jordan/Pippen and then Shaq/Kobe. Sure, it helped A LOT, but then you have idiots say: “Well, if he’s such a good coach, let’s see what he’d do with the Knicks!”

It’s also like saying: “Well, if Babe Ruth is so good, let’s see if he could have turned the Royals into a World Series team if he were alive today.”

Give me a freaking break.

And just for the record: four of Billingsley’s seven wins came out of the bullpen. While generally pretty good out of the rotation this year, he’s been somewhat inconsistent at times, but he has shown progress lately, as evidenced by his complete game a couple of days ago. Nitpicky? Yeah… but get it right.

“The question these days in Chavez Ravine is who’s closing.”

No, it’s not. It’s more: “Ned, can you please get us some more starting pitching, if not maybe an extra bullpen arm, as suddenly most of our starters can’t go deep in the games and it’s causing our entire bullpen to implode?!” Also, Saito should return in a couple of days and, even if not, the answer would be very simple: Jonathan Broxton who, ironically, is being groomed for the closer’s role in the future.

“The Dodgers? The best thing to be said for their lineup is that none of their players has masterminded any dogfights lately.”

The best thing to say about your sportswriting is that it’s a pity you haven’t been apart of any.

No. No, no, no, no, NO.

July 25, 2007 at 4:48 pm | In Evan Grant, Mark Teixeira, NO | 1 Comment

You know, I wasn’t going to write about this. I wasn’t going to give it any credibility – not, of course, that me writing about anything makes it credible. But it keeps popping up, it keeps bothering me, and even though I’m in the middle of writing about how awesome Chad Billingsley is, I have to put my two cents in here.

Via the always entertaining mlbtraderumors.com, we have this article by Dallas Morning News “columnist” Evan Grant detailing the possible trade destinations for Rangers 1B Mark Teixeira. Okay, so far, no problem - when your team is as lousy as the Rangers are, and Cowboys camp hasn’t gotten going yet, you’ve got to write about something. I get it. And I’m used to the Dodgers popping up in all of these fanciful rumors because of how stacked LA’s farm system is. But, this is just too much.

Grant writes:

The Dodgers also remain interested in a Teixeira-centric package, the source said. The Dodgers would likely have to part with first baseman James Loney, an outfielder such as Andre Ethier and a minor league pitcher to pull of such a deal. The Rangers love Highland Park lefty Clayton Kershaw, but it’s not certain the Dodgers would include a prospect of his caliber as a third player.

Wow. Why stop there, Evan? Why not throw in Matt Kemp, too? Why not just go into the Hall of Fame and chisel the LA off Sandy Koufax’ bust and replace it with a T?

Look, I don’t want to come off like I don’t like Mark Teixeira or think he’s a bad player - though I’m already sick of trying to spell “Teixeira” correctly. Obviously, the man’s an offensive force. He only turned 27 in April, so he’s just entering his prime, yet he’s already put up some completely disgusting seasons. His average season to this point is 36 HR/117 RBI with a .903 OPS. Not to mention, he’s the two-time defending Gold Glove winner at 1B in the AL. His comparables at his age and position include Mark McGwire, Jeff Bagwell, and Willie McCovey. He’s good. He’s real good. You’d love to have a player like that on your team.

But see, there’s two really really big problems with this. Lindsay Lohan and blow-sized problems. (What. Too soon?)

#1 is, of course, the fact that Teixeira has signed a deal with the Devil. No, really. He’s part of Scott Boras’ stable. He’s literally signed a deal with Beezlebub. And if you know anything about baseball and Scott Boras’ role in it, you know that Boras will never, ever allow his players to sign with their team before hitting the open market. It just does not happen. So any team going after Teixeira has to know that they get him for the remainder of this year and then next, and he walks. Sure, you could resign him, but a player like that on the open market, and on the right side of 30, is pulling down $100 million easy. Not to mention, he’s a Maryland native and has made no secret of his dream to play in Baltimore.

#2 is, and everyone outside of LA seems to have missed this part, so I’m going to put it in big bold letters, THE DODGERS DON’T NEED A FIRST BASEMAN. Remember that kid they called up from AAA? Lone-something? Hitting .362 with a .966 OPS and the best glove this franchise has seen at 1B since the glory days of Wes Parker 35 years ago? Even better, just turned 23 and makes the minimum for the next few years? Has done absolutely nothing to indicate that he’s not going to be the real deal? Yeah. That guy’s good. I like him.

But outside of Dodgerland, the people who supposedly “know” say, “well, the Dodgers have no power! And some kid playing first! They need Teixeira!” Well, if you’ve paid any attention to the Dodgers at all over the last month, you’d have noticed that the offense has been raking (over roughly the same time since Loney and Kemp got increased playing time - but that’s just a coincidence, I’m sure) and the pitching has been in big, big trouble.

So back to Evan - let me get this straight. The Dodgers - who have been killing the ball but are rocking a pen that includes DJ Houlton, Eric Stults/Hull, Roberto Hernandez, and Rudy “uh-oh, the clock just struck midnight for Cindarella” simultaneously - should trade their killer young first baseman, a quality young starting outfielder, and one of the best pitching prospects in all of baseball, just to get a short-term upgrade at 1B and be completely screwed there for the future?

That’s like saying, “I have a 2005 Maserati and a beat-up 1987 Toyota Corolla. Obviously, my biggest concern is upgrading to a better Maserati - no matter that it’ll cost me a fortune to break the lease, and that the kids rely on the Toyota to get to school.”

That’s right - Evan Grant of the Dallas Morning News hates children. Monster.

Our patron saint speaks

July 25, 2007 at 5:23 am | In Mike Scioscia | No Comments

This is from a few days ago when the Angels were in Tampa Bay, but I couldn’t help putting it up, as on topic as this quote is. Apparently, Mike’s real “tragic illness” is a heartwarming respect for drones in faraway accounting departments.

Vin On Vin

July 25, 2007 at 12:55 am | In Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Fear not; I only mean the subject title figuratively.

Here is an interview that I gave last month to The Daily Breeze, a local paper in the L.A. region, that is, by far, the best interview I think I’ve ever given. It covers things from my broadcasting style, how I prepare, to my own opinion on my legacy. A fascinating read for all Dodgers fans that gives a little more insight into me, outside of the booth. And after nearly 60 years of broadcasting, what better way to tell people about this, than on a new Dodgers blog? Enjoy…

Vin Scully Interview

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