Monthly Archives: May 2009

May Cody Ross Get A Perpetual Case Of Hemorrhoids

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So, I’m sitting here on this nice Sunday morning, relaxing, typing out an article on the awesomeness of Chad Billingsley, and as I’m busy typing this, I’m watching the Dodger game and, as I’m watching, I note that I’ve just seen something historical.  

Juan Pierre drew a walk. 

shocked-2.jpgAnd it was intentional. 

monkey_shocked2.jpgSo I had to put the article on hold and get typing on this.  Because in case you missed it, there was some other notable thing that happened, today: some guy called Sandy Kershaw.jpgKershaw pitched a pretty nifty game, throwing a no-hitter through 7 innings, until it was broken up by a leadoff double from Cody Ross in the 8th inning, who has now punched his ticket to hell for all of eternity after committing such an atrocious act.  Nonetheless, the final tally on Kershaw was 7+ IP, 1 ER (off a sacrifice fly after he was out of the game), 1 H, 4 BB, 9 K. 

The short of it was that Kershaw was simply brilliant and continued to give us another taste of what could be with his unlimited potential.  Since his brilliant 13 K performance against the Giants at the beginning of the year, Kershaw hasn’t been particularly good (5.21 ERA going into today’s game, with an 84 ERA+), going from a mixture of Kaz Ishii to, as we saw today, Sandy Koufax.  However, as has been said many times, he’s barely 21 and to be able to get even that production from someone his age is highly encouraging.  Hopefully this is the type of start he can build on as he continues to mature and improve, which he has been doing.  Well done, young man. 

In other news… 

Welcome To Juanville 
The Pierre Man .jpg
You’re going to witness something even rarer right now than the almost no-hitter and the intentional walk to Pierre.  Yes, that’s right, we here at MSTI are going to give some love to the Pierre Man. The Juanster.  The Mayor Of Juanville. 

Let’s face it, once Manny got suspended, we didn’t just scream “oh shit!” because his production was going to be gone, but because it also meant that Juan Pierre was our new left fielder.  But if the first 10 games are of any indication, he’s been flat out brilliant.  Over the past 14 days (not counting today), he’s put up a line of .415/.478/.515 with 6 SB’s to boot and also went 3-5 today, with 3 RBI’s.  What’s particularly nice is that, while Pierre has normally been a singles hitter, we’ve also been seeing an increase in extra base hits.  Counting today’s 3-5 performance, which included 2 doubles, Pierre’s (who has played 31 games this year) total amount of doubles this year is 8.  Now why is that even worth bringing up?  Well, because last year in the 119 games he played, he had 10.  And 7 of those doubles he’s had this year have come in the past two weeks.  You see, when we get the old, vintage Pierre, the one who gets on base, gets a bit more extra base hits, then you know what?  He’s not bad and does make a valuable contribution to the team.  It’s when he stops doing that, then he gets his justifiable criticism.  But you know what?  I can’t complain about him, right now.  He’s been simply brilliant and one of the key parts of this offense since Manny got suspended.  I’m shocked as hell, yes, but good for him and I truly hope he keeps it up. 

I now expect Juan Pierre to soon get suspended for 50 games for violating MLB’s drug policy. 

Either way, nice production.  But, of course, we can’t let this article be 100% positive, now can we?  This brings us to… 

Guillermo Makes Me Want Some Mota 
Mota Stone4.jpg
Because that’s the only way I can get through watching him when he comes in.  Is there any reason why this guy still has a job?  Even in a 12-1 blowout, he damn near gets Florida to cut the lead in half by giving up 4 ER, which came from a Cody Ross Grand Slam in the 9th with 2 outs.  The guy simply serves no purpose with this team, other than as a motivational tool for the starting pitchers to continue pitching well, lest he come in for them and screw them of a win.  The last time Mota came in was the 3 ER performance against the Giants, where he blew the lead twice, and eventually lost the game in the 13th inning, not to mention he has also not had an easy, scoreless 1-2-3 inning since April 26th.  I mean, come on, where do I begin?  The wicked 9.00 ERA?  That sick 2.17 WHIP going into today?!  I mean, if we have to keep him, can we at least inject him with steroids again?  Sure, there is a moral issue with steroids, but I argue that it would be, if anything, moral to give him steroids to save Dodger fans from the utter torture and nightmares that he creates every time he takes the mound.  Actually, that’s what he should be doing!  Somewhere in Guantanamo Bay, they need to set up a pitchers mound where he gets to pitch and where they subject all the terrorists to watching this.  Holy shit, the information will just come POURING out!  But put him anywhere, I don’t care… just not with us.  He’s just so detrimental… he’s like… I don’t know… the swine flu. 

So the Dodgers end the road trip by going 4-2; in other words, they took 2 out of 3 from both the Phillies and Marlins.  Not bad and nice to see some improved play from them on the road, after being a .500 team (8-8) away from Dodger Stadium prior to this trip.  Now it’s back to Dodger Stadium beginning tomorrow.  And we don’t get to mess with the Johan!  Sweet! 

- Vin vinscully-face.jpg

I’ve Got To Admit: It’s Getting Better

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So, first off, the biggest news: Vin has taken over the ship here at MSTI for the weekStultsMartin2009.jpgend!  Yes, to paraphrase the great Stevie Wonder, I have been, if that, a Part Time Blogger, but it’s nice to be back. 

But we have more important things to talk about: like, how about those Dodgers?  You know, the team that was supposed to fall into this deep funk post-Mannygate, start sucking, and wallow themselves in sadness and stuff themselves with lots of Lithium?  And who could blame them?  I mean, for crying out loud, they started out 1-3 without Manny!  Surely the season is over! 

Well, not quite.  As you saw today, the Dodgers came back from a 3-0 deficit against Chris Volstad and won 6-4 aided by HR’s by Casey Blake, Xavier Paul’s 1st career HR (who, by the way, continues to impress), and a respectable pitching performance by Eric Stults, who went 5 IP, giving up 3 ER, walking 2 and striking out 5.  Broxton was shaky again in the 9th, and was only throwing a mere 98 MPH this time, but he got the job done and, given his pitch count over the past two days (28 pitches today, 27 pitches the night before), will likely get the day off tomorrow.  No, actually, make that a guarantee. 

So far the road trip has been a very refreshing one for the Dodgers.  Coming off the horrible series against SF, they didn’t look their best, but they have rebounded quite nicely, taking 2 out of 3 from the World Champion Phillies and rallying to win the first game in Florida at Sand Bark Stadium (yes, I will continue to screw up the name of the stadium… it can’t be any worse than what it ACTUALLY is!).  The really good news, in particular, has been the emergence of James Loney on this road trip.  Not just because he’s belted 2 HR’s, but his approach at the plate in general looks better and it shows, collecting another two hits today.   It’s interesting, though: the more I watch this team, the more I’m reaffirmed at just how good we are and can still be even with the absence of Manny.  That isn’t to discount his impact, our team is still obviously better with him, but my confidence in our offense is still relatively high; we’re still piling up runs (and with a really struggling Ethier) and, for the most part, if we’ve had issues in these past eight games, they’ve primarily been due to bullpen issues, namely that Guillermo Mota was born. 

Even with that, the Dodgers advance to 25-12 and retake the claim of having the best record in baseball.  Not bad, huh? 

- Vin vinscully-face.jpg

These Jackholes Are Taking Your Dodgers Away From You

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STEVIE_B.jpgSee that guy, over to the right? That’s something called “Stevie B”. Hey, Stevie – nice notch in your hair, there. You look like the black Kenny Powers, only somehow stupider-looking. And did you steal that red leather jacket directly from the set of “Thriller”, or did you just decide it was so cool that you had to have one yourself?

Look, I don’t care that your biggest hit, “Because I Love You”, somehow made #55 on the Billboard Hot 100 All-Time Hot Songs, because I couldn’t make it more than 12 seconds into the video without having my eyes start to bleed. (By the way, Billboard, you’re putting this piece of crap higher than the varied excellence of “I Love Rock n’ Roll”, “Aquarius/Let the Sun Shine In”, and that tour de force, “Whoomp! There It Is!”? For shame.)

Let’s put Stevie B aside for a second and move on to 1980s Latin Freestyle trio TKA. (Bear with me here, I swear that this will become relevant and that we haven’t sold out to become TKA_-YOU.jpgBoyz II Men’s Tragic Illness). Yep, that’s those fine looking young gentlemen to the right – the ones that appear to have applied the graphics to their CD cover with Microsoft Paint. TKA had approximately 10 minutes of popularity in 1991 and broke up shortly after, but that didn’t stop them from reuniting in 2001 to unleash Forever, described by allmusic.com as… well, it didn’t even rate a review. On ALLMUSIC DOT COM. This is a site that was able to force out a few words about the soundtrack to the third installment of the Mighty Ducks movies, yet they couldn’t be bothered to say anything about TKA’s big comeback. In fact, this group was of such little importance that AllMusic only bothers to list their leader, “K7″, as a member of the group. This is important when you realize that in the travesty I’m about to describe, it’s not the band “TKA”, and it’s not the musician “K7″… it’s the other two guys from TKA. The Florida Sun-Sentinel has further details:

It’s freestyle flashback featuring Stevie B with special guests Angel and Aby formerly of TKA at Florida Marlins’ Super Saturday this weekend.

Angel and Aby formerly of TKA rose to fame in 1991 with hits such as “Louder Than Love.”

The first pitch in the game against the Los Angeles Dodgers is set for 6:10 p.m. at Land Shark Stadium, 2267 NW 199 St., Miami Gardens. The first 15,000 fans will receive Marlins pom pom.

First: “Land Shark Stadium”. Haaaaaa.

Second: Yes, I thought that last line said “Marlins porn porn” at first.

But the most important part of that sentence is the 6:10pm (3:10pm PST) start. You see, Saturday afternoons have been FOX’s exclusive territory for years – there’s a national blackout between the hours of 1pm and 4pm western, and that’s why the teams that don’t have the 1pm FOX game scheduled either play at 10am PST, or the regular 4pm PST. If any team wanted to be stupid enough to start a game in the blackout period, they’d be unable to broadcast the game until the blackout ended - even in either team’s home market. Knowing this, no team would do something that idiotic.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Florida Marlins.

That’s right, thanks to the Marlins wanting to fit in a “concert” of washed-up never-was’s, they’ve pushed up the start time an hour to 6:10pm eastern, under the theory that if the post-game concert had to wait until 10pm, it’d be too late for those who - for some reason – actually wanted to see this crap. So thanks to this, it means that we’re all going to be missing the first two or three innings of the game – just so this ridiculous concert can go forward. With this being Eric Milton’s first start, that might be just long enough for us to not even get to see him at all!

You can blame FOX if you like, and I agree that I hate that they’ve been given such power. But the fact is, this isn’t a new rule, and it’s not a surprise to anyone – this is entirely the fault of the Marlins. This isn’t the first time this season this has happened, either, as the same issue came up against the Mets in April due to a concert by rapper Flo Rida. As you can imagine, their fans weren’t that pleased either…

UmpBump:

So you know what that means, kids? I can’t watch the game until 7pm, when SNY (the Mets channel here in NYC) begins broadcasting. I can’t even go on the internet to watch it because it’s the same fricken’ situation down in Miami. I just. can’t. watch. the. game.

Hulk get mad.

I can only hope that instead of Ron, Keith and Gary, the SNY team decides to have Ralph Kiner open up the telecast. I’d love to hear Ralph try to explain this %#$!-show on-air (Welcome to Mets baseball. This is uh… I’m uh… Well, we open up the telecast in the fourth inning here in uh… There’s a musician named Flo Rida who’ll be playing tonight… And as a result, here we are in the second inning, with Darryl Strawberry coming to bat).

It might be the only thing that could make this okay.

Kranepool Society:

Due to a rap concert after the game Saturday, the Marlins decided for some reason to start that nights game at 6PM instead of 7PM why? Beats the shit out of me as I’m sure the Gang Bangers that want to hear Flo-Rida rap out “LOW” (luv them Apple Bottom Jeans girlfriend) don’t mind staying up a little later on a Saturday night so if I’m going rip anyone a new asshole over this it’s has to be the Florida Marlins  and that little stooge David Samson.

I won’t let the Skill Sets off easy either as they should be using their muscle in getting the Used Car Salesman to force the Fish into changing the time of the game.

I’d kill FOX but that’s a lost cause as any company that thinks having Doofus Joe Buck and Tim Mc Fullofshit as it’s lead team is beyond help.

Yeah, that sounds about right. So enjoy that, Dodger fans, and mark my words that something amazing is going to happen in the early innings of this game that we’re going to miss. Like a triple play, or a Juan Pierre grand slam, or a zombie apocalypse. I’m not sure which of the last two seem less likely. Seriously, though; it’s one thing to miss a few innings of Eric Milton, but it was just about this time last year when Clayton Kershaw made his debut. Can you imagine the uproar if we’d been deprived of seeing that?

(Have a good weekend, kids. I’m blowing out of the big city and headed to… a slightly smaller big city. But the good news is, I’m turning over the reins to our very own long lost Latin Freestyle King, VIN! Treat him right.)

I Guess I Can Only Help One James At a Time

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As none of you saw because you were at work, Chad Billingsley was great again, Jonathan Broxton blew it in the 9th (no one freak, it happens), and Russell Martin and Matt Kemp came up with big RBI doubles in the 10th for a big 5-3 win to take the series over the Phillies.

However, it wouldn’t be a Dodger day without another pitching roster move…

milton.jpgFrom SI.com:

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -Eric Milton is heading back to the big leagues after a nearly two-year absence.

The Los Angeles Dodgers purchased the contract of the veteran left-hander from Triple-A Albuquerque after their 5-3, 10-inning win over the Phillies on Thursday.

Milton will start Saturday against the Florida Marlins in place of Jeff Weaver. The Dodgers optioned right-hander James McDonald (1-1, 6.75 ERA) to their Pacific Coast League club.

First things first, listen closely because you don’t hear this too often around here: I’m perfectly okay with the old-and-busted veteran taking the place of a top young prospect. No way around it; McDonald’s been completely awful so far, mainly due to walking 16 in just 18.2 innings. So, let him go back to the minors and work himself out, because it’s clearly not working out for him in the bigs right now.

Yes, I was really high on him entering the season, and yes, I’m disappointed in how he’s performed. But I’m hardly giving up on him just yet – remember, we’ve been completely spoiled with how the other young guys like Martin, Loney, Billingsley, and the like all burst onto the scene with little difficulty. Despite what we’ve seen, it doesn’t always happen like that! So enjoy Albuquerque, James, and remember: if you don’t think that throwing strikes is important, just know that it’s the difference between a life in New Mexico and a life in Dodger Stadium.

No offense to the people in New Mexico, but that’s a pretty big incentive to me.

As far as having Milton bump Jeff Weaver out of the rotation… well, I thought Weaver had done an admirable job, allowing 4 earned runs total over 2 five-inning starts. Really, can you ask for any more than that from him? It’s not great, but not enough to lose his spot. That said, Milton’s been pretty good in AAA (2.83 ERA, 1.00 WHIP) so it’s not really a big enough deal to get all worked up about. Oddly enough, this now gives the Dodgers four left-handers in the rotation. It wasn’t all that long ago that we were watching a three- or four-year streak of never having a lefty start.

Besides, I’d like to think that regardless of whether it’s Milton or Weaver, they’re just holding the spot that Hiroki Kuroda is going to reclaim in the next few weeks… but there’s no way that Joe Torre’s going to stick with MSTI fave Eric Stults over a formerly famous veteran, right?

I’m Taking Full Credit For This

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loneyhomers.jpgA little over 24 hours ago, I wrote an entire post about how disappointing James Loney has been this year, including how he hadn’t homered in seemingly a decade.

Since then? Two games, two homers. Oh, sure, some would like to kill my buzz by pointing out the fact that yesterday’s homer probably wouldn’t have made it out of any other park in the bigs, but still: Loney’s riding the MSTI bump. And he might still get another at-bat in this game!

Russell Martin, I’m looking in your direction. You’re next.