Dodgers Inexplicably Sign Garret Anderson, For Some Reason

Dylan Hernandez tweets the suprising news (and just as this blogger was really reaching for something to write about!) that the Dodgers have signed OF Garret Anderson to a minor-league contract.

This makes sense because… well… I have no idea, actually. Maybe they’ll take spare parts from him to pair with Brian Giles and form some sort of zombie robot outfielder? As I don’t need to tell you, the top foursome in the Dodger outfield is set. You’ll need a lefty bat off the bench, granted, but if that’s not Giles or Xavier Paul you’d think for sure it’s Doug Mientkiewicz, who Joe Torre seems to love and who can at least play a few positions pretty well.

What can Garret Anderson do well? Well, this isn’t the first time his name has come up, and this is what I said about him in January…

Yes, I don’t like him because he’s old (38 in June). Yes, I don’t like him because he’s coming off the worst year of his career despite having just moved to the easier league (.705 OPS, the third year in a row that decreased). Yes, I don’t like him because he is by all accounts a horrible fielder (-16.5 UZR/150 last year). Hey, a senior citizen who can’t hit or field? Sign me up?!

Since then, the Dodgers have imported Reed Johnson to be the 4th outfielder, plus Giles and others to battle for the last bench spot.  What Garret Anderson adds to that mix is… well, not “quality” exactly… I don’t know. Formaldehyde?