Who Needs to Buy A Toaster For This?
April 15, 2010 at 1:25 pm | Posted in Russ Ortiz | 16 CommentsHere’s the latest unneccessary baseball product:
Toast, that venerable staple of breakfast foods, has long been due for a makeover. Well friends, that time has come.
The delicate geniuses at Pangea Brands have come up with a way of combining your love of baseball with your love of toast. This coming May, Pangea will introduce their ProToast, a toaster that burns your favorite team’s logo into your toasted bread. The toasters are set to feature teams from the four major sports leagues, and will retail for $34.99…a relatively small price to pay if you’re a diehard fan.
That’s, right for just $34.99… you can stare at the Dodger logo burned into your toast. I’m not sure I see the point, though. If you want to look at toast with a Dodger logo on it, look no further than the bullpen, amirite? When are they going to make a toaster that will show this:
No, I don’t know why he ended up with no arms – not that he’s doing a whole hell of a lot with two arms right now. The perils of Photoshopping surreptitiously while at the office, I suppose. I’m still debating how best to show the “Ortiz-DFA-O-Meter”. They’re in a dead tie right now, but two needles seems like it’d look awkward.
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The lols are strong with this one.
Comment by Stephen— April 15, 2010 #
Mike, I think th DFA O-Meter is going to have to swing slightly in favor of Russ Ortiz.
Comment by Harrison— April 15, 2010 #
Well, at least we have people to hate who won’t be a part of the team for very long…
Comment by johnclevenger— April 15, 2010 #
Maybe you should present the meter not as a DFA-meter but have the Ortizii on the left and better alternatives on the farm on the right, ie JMac and Elbert. Meh not as funny as the race to DFA though.
Comment by EephusBlue— April 15, 2010 #
“Ortizii”. WIN. Why didn’t I think of that?
Comment by Mike Scioscia's tragic illness— April 15, 2010 #
How about the Orteases? Because everyone (except Torre) knew their spring performances were just teases…
Comment by johnclevenger— April 15, 2010 #
Hey, I just started un-adblocking some sites that I frequent in order to help them pay the bills, and I noticed that you don’t have any ads! Crazy bastard. How, then, do I help?
Comment by johnclevenger— April 15, 2010 #
I do it for the people! And the book deals it brings me. I used to have ads, but I don’t have any right now. Should I get some more, I’ll make sure to tell you to click them 10 times a day. Thanks for asking.
Comment by Mike Scioscia's tragic illness— April 15, 2010 #
Again, the minute the Ortizii came into the game, I was on the verge of heart-failure. Honestly, you can’t blame Torre for saying Weaver was off limits and keeping Bills in the game. The pitching will have to get on it quickly, because pitching has always been the bright spot for the Dodgers. How frustrating is it to be Manny, Blake, Kemp, etc. and seeing the pitching blow leads?
Comment by Omer Carrothers— April 15, 2010 #
To be fair, Kemp can’t start getting frustrated until he starts picking it up with the glove a little bit.
Comment by Mike Scioscia's tragic illness— April 15, 2010 #
Make the DFA meter like the yodeling man from The Price Is Right.
Comment by Brandon— April 15, 2010 #
If any Dodgers fan wants to follow one of the best managers and probably most famous manager in Dodgers history, become a fan of Tommy Lasorda on his facebook page. The URL is: http://www.facebook.com/TommyLasorda
Comment by Jarone Ashkenazi— April 15, 2010 #
Hey Mike did you know about this douche bag who has a blog called The Dodger Hater whose life mission is to in his words “talk mess about the worst franchise in History. . . The Dodgers” it would be fittin considering he is a Giants fan
Comment by Nolan Ryan Beatdown— April 15, 2010 #
Yeah, I’ve heard of it. Seems silly to me to have your most hated rival’s name in the title of your page.
Comment by Mike Scioscia's tragic illness— April 15, 2010 #
I think the key would be to make the Ortizii look like actual toast. Then Belliard would eat them, and we wouldn’t have to live with the horror of them being called up in September.
Comment by b.rock— April 15, 2010 #
AT LAST A SERIES WIN! Wow this game was how last night’s should have ended. Ethier with the walk of magic. WOOHOO!
Comment by EephusBlue— April 16, 2010 #